Look! It's AZN! We have kulture!
So, the premise is that you're a guy walking on an island and... that's literally it. Don't even bother reading Wikipedia for answers, it's more fun if you make up your own. For example, the reason you morph into a bird in DE is because you are one of those morphing children from that dumb as shit children's book about morphing children, you know, that one.
See? I can write the plot for a walking simulator too! It can't really be that hard. I just need a boring as hell setting where no combat could ever take place (games are art, go back to Battlefront 2 you plebeian commoner), and throw in some ambient sound like waves or rain. I mean Gone Home did it, why can't all the others?
It is indeed a sad day in game design when the best you can say about a title is that "the only thing these people did right is not sprinkle their game with ideological propaganda like their peers."
4 locations in all their $10 budget glory.
Why do I hate this game so? Fine, after all you asked for it.
Imagine walking in a (poorly optimized) source engine (which is 10 years old right now) game hearing nothing except the blathering of a pompous piece of work with a British accent so disgusting it makes Cockney look preferable blathering at you about events, people and places that you have no clue about. Even at the end I had no clue in hell about what this game was about or what was going on. Yet again Wikipedia saves the day.
To be honest I have to apologize about the length of this review. It's not like Dear Esther has anything to offer. The whole ordeal is hard to describe because of the relative lack of "meat on the bones" so to speak.
To conclude there was nothing to even talk about in this game. This review has mostly been fluff because the game itself is non existent. I could do better with a week in UDK and Google Sketchup. I have high hopes for The Stanley Parable. Please don't let me down oh great gods of walking endlessly.
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